Another Thursday passes by...

Haven't you noticed that time has been flying super fast??? I'm extremely sorry for not writing in a while. A lot has happened since then. But right at this moment: I'm sick at home with the flu and my mom is giving me problems about me refusing to go to the doctors. This entire day she's been grumpy with me and her grumpiness gets contagious so I too got grumpy. It's just the flu and like Kaiser's advice nurse said "Rest, rest, rest!" And that's what I'm trying to do! Except I'm getting bored of these four walls, I haven't completely understood why every month I get sick with this damn illness, I'm beginning to feel imprisoned with the never ending sneezes and spider web scratching in my poor throat. I think my mother's beliefs of witchcraft are starting to get to me. Maybe someone has put a spell on me of the flu bug. Great!

Tomorrow should be a different day though, I'm going to Lahaina for the night at the Christian church Mizpa. My friend and I, always, I mean ALWAYS doll up for this church. It's ridiculous because our plan is to impress some people if y'know what I mean but it NEVER works. Yes I'm getting dolled up tomorrow. ;))

It's a whole lot of fun, unlike my church they have many opportunities for youth and there are enough young people to form a youth group. :) (And there's a lot of hot guys, at least that's what I've heard.) I'm hoping to be a part of it, I'm really hoping my mom agrees to drive at least every two weeks there. It's really fun, last week Friday I went to accompany my friend, she's been having a rough time in her life. Her mom and little sisters got deported to Mexico, it was very depressing, I can't even imagine how it would feel to be apart from my mom. :( But anyway let's change the mood, on Saturday me and my same friend joined the youth group at one of their activities. A trip to the twin falls, no parents and only flat bread pizza!!!! :DD
That trip didn't go so well as I hoped for. There were about four happy couples in mah face the whole time. By noon I got irritated, I wanted to jump off the waterfall first, I climbed the valley by myself and reached to the top by myself. Later did two guys come but just as I thought they wanted to impress their girlfriends. I wanted to jump off the waterfall first. Fabian (my friend's boyfriend) was trying to convince me to not jump, that no one knows how deep it is. He seemed like he really cared about me. When I looked into his eyes, I got weak and my heart screamed for obedience but I had forgotten about my friend. I turned my vision back to the waterfall. My toes near the edge, just about ready to let loose of all ground, the fear inside me had long consumed me.
All the guys managed to jump off, and impress everyone, while I, still stood near the edge, but this time with no determination left inside. It was then I realized how weak of a person I am.

...........

I didn't want to forgive myself so I went off their trail, didn't come down but only went even more up the path. I found a solitary pond, with its own little waterfall, I liked it. The water lured me in, I closed my eyes as I sunk in the water trying to forget the world.


After two guys found me, we decided we were all hungry that meant the pizza place was next. On our way to the cars, I walked by myself and had a distance from the group. I put my sunglasses and cried the way back. My friend saw that something was wrong so her and her boyfriend, Fabian kept on asking me if I was okay. Their real or fake concern made my eyes gush out waterfalls. I never really told them what was wrong with me, remember I had a distance from them.
The pizza was pretty good, paid $20, the money that my mom had argued about that morning. Oh well. I really need a job and this time keep it for good. At least until I have my life ordered and ready to go.






There were about three good lucking guys in the group. One was with my friend. Another was with another girl but I heard she cheated on him and that now they were just friends. But I don't think friends touch each others' crotches. And the other kid well... he's funny, pretty muscular, has a cute smile, is taller than me, I think he's single. But someone was talking about the time with his ex and he shut the person up. I didn't analyze him as much that day but I figured, he'd already have a prettier girl in mind. The day soon enough ended with me attending church with my mother. My friend sits by me and tells me about that one kid, his name's Oscar. He told her boyfriend that his "girlfriend's friend is really pretty." And I thought "ME?!?!?!?! NO WAY! I LOOKED SHITTY" On Sunday, my friend called me up and told me that one of the guy's from the group (Not Oscar) wanted my number, we think that this guy might give it to Oscar because he's too shy or some stupid shit like that. Monday, Tuesday, nothing really happened until yesterday my friend again told me that Oscar texted her telling her that he liked me but not to tell me. HAHAHA. My friend, impatient already gave him my number but he says he won't text me yet. So now all that's left to do is to recover from the flu, get really dolled up for L-church tomorrow to impress some people and maybe get a text from that one Oscar dude. LOL.


Until next time I have something worth to type out.
Kathy